Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
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Wednesday, November 28, 2012 @ 3:05:00 PM - Written by Doug Hignell -

Picture this: it's the end of an exhausting day at work and my phone rings. It's my wife, Kaylinn. "Doug," she says, "on your way home, could you stop by the cleaners and then swing by the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner tonight?" On the surface, her request is a simple one - and it would be even simpler if I wasn't so tired. In this situation, I can choose to respond in one of several ways including:

 "No, I'm exhausted and just need to come home."

"No, let's do it another time."

"Yes I suppose so," or

"Yes, I'd be glad to."

For most of my life, I've been as self-centered as the next person. Rarely is "No" my response, but my "Yes" was at best half-hearted and at worst, resentful. I thought that as Kaylinn's husband, I should help, but found myself feeling at times like helping was a chore. This response is rather like the boy who was punished by his teacher and told to sit in the corner. As he sat there, he thought to himself, "I may be sitting on the outside, but I am standing on the inside."

Over time I began to realize that performing "acts of service" was a tangible way for Kaylinn to receive my love - even more tangible for her than gifts, touch, or words of affirmation. With this realization, I began to say "Yes" more quickly, but it still sometimes felt like a chore rather than an act of genuine love.

Recently, I read a great book by Bob Goff called Love Does, which I highly recommend. Not long after reading the book, this mantra began to take root in my mind:

 "Serving is a privilege, not a chore, when you love someone."

Kaylinn is the most important person in my life and because of this all of my acts of service for her should be done as a privilege. Of course, certain times and situations may not allow for me to say an immediate "Yes," but "Yes, I will be glad to" should be my normal response. What a slow learner I am!

The challenging part is to see "serving as a privilege, not a chore," for those with whom we come in contact beyond our families and close friends. God desires that we love our neighbors as ourselves, so if we genuinely love those whom God brings across our path, serving them should be a true privilege, not a rote chore. Yes, we need to maintain healthy boundaries and no, we can't meet everybody's needs, but the Holy Spirit usually highlights those whose needs we can and should meet.

This simple mantra has changed my attitude in a variety of contexts - not just at home. My prayer is that you'll see your acts of service this week as a privilege, not a chore.

So beautiful. This made me think of a brief conversation my husband and I had. My husband came home and i knew it gad been a stresful morning. I went home earky because i wasnt feeling well Me" honey, want me to fix you some lunch?" My husband" aww honey that's ok. I know your not feeling well. I can take care of myself. " me: " I know you can but I like taking care of you." the words were out and I was fixing lunch without out a thougt. I know it a small thing, fixing lunch, picking up groceries, but to the ones we love it's important and it matters.
Ashley @ 9:44:00 PM 11/28/2012
What a beautiful example of "love in action". Most often it is the small acts of love that speak to those around us more than big items. Excellent!
Doug @ 1:18:00 PM 1/18/2013

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