Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
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Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 11:48:00 AM - Written by Doug Hignell -
 In my previous blog I shared an email from a good friend who called himself the "Ten Talent Idiot". I ended the blog by saying that rest was worth the risk of reworking our busy lives. As we continued the dialogue, my friend wrote:

"I had some interesting thoughts last night and this morning that helped reveal a tension: Saying no to things I really want and like to do vs. having margins and time to rest and relax. It seems like a tough balance. It goes to the question "how do you know when to say 'yes'?" I really don't know. I love coaching soccer. I enjoy teaching. I love being with my wife and kids. I love my Sunday night group. I really enjoy leading marriage group. I enjoy counseling. I like to write. I enjoy recreational activities like sports, watching sports, playing golf and fishing. I'd love your thoughts and input on how to get control of this tiger or activity, performance and franticity (my new word)."

I responded:

"Good morning my friend. These are good reflections and questions. The problem as we age is that we have to choose between all "A" activities or uses of time. Last time we talked I mentioned that you are like a guy at a buffet that likes every food offered. You love life and a wider range of activities than most. Just about every alternative is enjoyable to you and as a 10 talent idiot (your words) you are better than most at just about every activity you would try. BUT regularly eating every food at a buffet leads to obesity and poor health even though all the foods are nutritionally okay. My friend you are overweight, so to speak, and must cut back on activity calories or eventually the pace could lead to serious health issues."

As I reflect on this email interchange I would encourage all of us to say "no" more often. With our "people pleasing" tendencies the concept of "Just Say No!" is very difficult. Two methods have helped me in this regard:
1. When asked to take on a new activity, first look at your existing activities and see what you are willing to give up to make room for the new activity. The assumption is that your schedule is already full.
2. Ask for 24 hours to respond before accepting any new activity that will take ongoing time. During this time check in with God and your mate, or an accountability partner for their input.

"No" is the most difficult word in the English language. Learn to use it!

Hi Doug, I can relate to this. I miss hiking. That gave me time to reflect on life. Laying in the sleeping bag looking up into His Creation, no Television, no internet, no phones, just cold mountain air, trillions of stars, .....and the guys snoring. :o) Make your yes, yes and your no, no. Thanks for the wisdom Doug. Derek
Derek Hastings @ 6:32:00 PM 5/18/2011

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