Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
Creating Caring Communities That Transform Lives
 Subscribe in a reader

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Monday, April 16, 2012 @ 5:00:00 AM - Written by Doug Hignell -

Just as I began to think that I might finally have a handle on living in His presence rather than from my performance, I find myself once again stressed, tired, and fatigued. Will this cycle ever end? I wrote my last blog post about four weeks ago, even though it was posted within the last few weeks. Since that post, I've found myself back on a whirlwind of activity and responsibility, lowering my head and pushing through my many tasks instead of withdrawing into His presence for periods of much-needed and extended rest.

What's my excuse for doing this? I didn't have time! As it is, I'm not fulfilling all of my current responsibilities. As I write this, I'm alone on a 36-hour Sabbath rest. By slowing down, I've realized my level of fatigue, evidenced by three naps and a difficulty in staying motivated. I have many more blog post ideas in my head about my performance vs. His presence, but it doesn't seem appropriate to write them when I'm not living it out myself at the moment.

How did I get here? I asked myself that question this morning. As I spent an extended time of reflection on Psalm 23 and contrasted "he leads me beside still waters" to the rapid pace of the last few weeks, I recognized that it's primarily because I've tried to love others well—too well, perhaps, or too many people in too little time. I recorded some of these acts of love:helping my son start a business, walking beside my friend through unexpected open heart surgery, helping a widow with her finances, five lunch appointments with five different friends, helping my son find and buy a car, assisting a friend with his retirement program, ongoing mentoring of several friends over the phone, speaking to students in Berkeley and at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, making a new friend who had injured himself, and more.

Loving well isn't the problem. Mentoring and "fathering" others is the call on my life, but I clearly haven't maintained healthy boundaries during the last few weeks, as I've had way too many interactions and far too little rest. Unfortunately, my heart for others and my own physical and emotional capabilities don't always match up. Looking back, I wouldn't have wanted to miss a single one of those interactions. The cost, however, is failing to allow my Shepherd to "lead me beside still waters."

Leave a Comment

Code Image - Please contact webmaster if you have problems seeing this image code Load New Code